


Observation and Illumination

by schizoauthoress



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, I'm ignoring that "only Garnet is allowed" in the Burning Room because Steven sure does, people sneak in there all the time, the bispearl is low-key
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizoauthoress/pseuds/schizoauthoress
Summary: There's a lot that Bismuth missed out on while bubbled, and she does not like the Burning Room. With some reluctance, Pearl fills in the blanks.[set between "Made of Honor" (Season 5, Episode 22) and the first part of "Reunited" (Season 5, Episode 23)]





	Observation and Illumination

Bismuth avoids the Burning Room, despite it containing the only fissure vent in the Temple. The lure of a good soak in lava is nothing compared to the anathema of what else the Burning Room holds. Bismuth doesn't know how Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven can stand going in there.

'They've had thousands of years to get used to it,' she thinks, 'and Steven doesn't have context for how creepy it is.'

Bismuth sees those stasis bubbles whenever she closes her eyes. Her friends -- Corrupted into a nightmare of madness by the Diamonds -- trapped far beyond Bismuth's ability to help.

****

Wedding preparations are the sole topic of conversation for days. Bismuth understands -- the war is a looming terror for them once again, and untainted joy is so very rare in wartime.

She truly is happy for Sapphire and Ruby, for Garnet -- they are her favorite couple -- but she's also glad for the distraction. Learning about this Earth custom and helping Steven set things up occupies all Bismuth's time, leaving none to think about her friends in the Burning Room.

Bismuth knows they aren't suffering right now -- her own long stasis was an empty time that does not mar her memories.

****

Perhaps that's the problem -- Bismuth still expects to see far more Crystal Gems than Pearl and Garnet. The others -- Rose's half-human son and the small Amethyst and Peridot -- are unfamiliar. They could be friends, new friends, but they aren't yet. Bismuth isn't quite ready.

She thinks of old friends -- Larimar, Snowflake, Crazy Lace, and Biggs -- but their faces fade when she remembers the Corrupted form that imprisons Biggs nowadays. It's not fair.

Homeworld was never fair, but Earth was supposed to be different.

Bismuth sighs. She can't think that way. She's no newly-emerged Gem, unwise to the realities of life.

****

"How do you stand it?" Bismuth finally asks Pearl, the night before the ceremony. At Pearl's puzzled look, Bismuth elaborates, "Fighting our old friends. Locking them away because we can't really help them."

Pearl flinches, but she meets Bismuth's eyes steadily when she answers. "It's not much, I know, but the other option is to do nothing. That would endanger all life on Earth." 

Bismuth nods. That would be unacceptable. Bismuth is fond enough of Earth's native organic life, weird as it is. Some humans had fought -- fiercely -- alongside Crystal Gems to defend Earth. Their descendants deserve a safe home.

****

"I'm not judging you, Pearl," Bismuth says. "Far from it. It must be hard, and I don't think I could've..."

"It doesn't get easier," Pearl interrupts. "We fight because we have to, we trap them because we have to, but I can't forget who they were." Her voice drops to a whisper, harsh with shame, "Even if I want to."

"Pearl..."

"It hurts so much," Pearl continues, low and urgent. As though she were desperate to unburden herself, "seeing how Homeworld punished the rebellion, sacrificed its own forces. They won't even let the shattered rest."

"...what does that mean, Pearl?"

****

Pearl's hand creeps up to cover her own mouth, briefly, as she regards Bismuth with a strange mix of pity and horror. "Oh, Bismuth," Pearl says softly, "I forgot you don't know."

Bismuth frowns, brow furrowing with confusion. "What don't I know?"

Pearl reaches out with her other hand, taking hold of Bismuth's wrist (as much as she can). "I... really ought to show you."

'I am going to regret this,' Bismuth thinks. She smiles at Pearl anyway. "If you think I oughtta see, then I guess I gotta see."

The smile Pearl returns does not reach her pale eyes. 

****

Pearl lifts a hand toward the high, unseen ceiling of the Burning Room. Bismuth keeps her eyes fixed on Pearl, too ill at ease to let her gaze wander.

Pearl turns, translucent pink bubble between her palms. She lifts it to Bismuth's eye level.

Bismuth peers inside... and, once she realizes what is inside, lets out a shrill, horror-struck scream. Bismuth backs away, shaking so hard she hears her teeth chattering.

"We couldn't find all the Crystal Gems who were shattered, remember?"

Bismuth nods jerkily. "Oh, stars..." she whispers, "that's M-Moonstone. And Heliodor..."

"Parts of them. With Verdelite and Benitoite."

****

Bismuth is on her knees, both hands clutching at her head as she tries to process this twisted new concept, this defilement of the dead. Tears stream down her face.

Pearl kneels before Bismuth, bubble still in hand. "I'm sorry."

"No," Bismuth rasps, shaking her head violently. "You're not responsible."

"Learning this hurt you." Pearl whispers, "I hate hurting you."

"I'd rather know," Bismuth insists, "Even if it hurts."

"I know."

They sit in silence, until Bismuth's tears run dry. She rakes her fingers through her hair before dropping her hands into her lap. She asks Pearl, "How many more?"

****

"There were two dozen other... experiments conducted, according to Peridot," Pearl answers. She finally lets the bubble float from her grasp, startling when Bismuth intercepts it. 

The larger Gem holds the stasis bubble with gentle care, eyes fixed on the cluster of Gem fragments within. "Peridot did this."

"On Yellow Diamond's orders," Pearl says firmly.

Bismuth voices her familiar lament, with deep bitterness, "Homeworld upper-crusts..."

"I don't know what we can do for them," Pearl says, "or the Cluster. Peridot says the process is irreversible, as far as she knows."

Bismuth asks, feeling heavy with grief and dread, "The Cluster?"

****

Pearl explains. Bismuth has to let go of the bubble, afraid to break it, and tangles both her hands together to keep from hammering at the floor in rage. 

Bismuth despairs, "Nothing we did mattered! The Diamonds were never going to leave the Earth alone!"

Pearl retorts, "It mattered, Bismuth! Homeworld stayed away for thousands of years. We gave the organic life on this planet millennia to live and grow. Rose wanted that so much. I won't give up on her dream, or on Steven's home, because of those... those... clouded idiots!"

Bismuth has to laugh quietly, over Pearl's insult.

****

"You're right, Pearl." Bismuth reshapes her form, takes Pearl's hands each into her own. "The Crystal Gems will always find a way."

Pearl grins with her old daring edge, despite the blush coloring her face. "Our surrender is what the 'Homeworld upper-crusts' want, you know. We don't give them _anything_ they want."

Bismuth laughs again, closer to her usual boisterous laugh. "Never ever!"

The silence that settles between them this time is warmer, of the sort that happens between longtime companions -- they've both lost a lot, but they have each other. Bismuth knows that Pearl understands her, without any words.

****

"If..." Pearl coughs. "If you need some time to yourself, you can stay in my room in the Temple. No one will bother you there."

Bismuth squeezes Pearl's hands gently. "Will you stay with me?"

Pearl knows she's blushing hard, but strives to keep her voice steady. "If you want me there... of course I'll stay."

Bismuth leans in, and her lips brush softly against Pearl's cheek. "I'd like that."

A good builder knows the importance of a strong foundation. Bismuth isn't sure of much in this changed world she's woken up to, but Pearl is still wonderfully, solidly familiar.

*-*-*-*-*


End file.
